by Sr. Organza Pettingfield, OLBQ
I am not much one for politics. But have you seen the shitshow in Washington? Donald Trump’s big beautiful buxom bill, which not only increases spending in areas that are unnecessary while simultaneously slashing spending for those our most vulnerable of citizens, but also seeks to reward the super-rich with $2.4 trillion dollars in tax cuts over the next several years to the detriment of our kids. That is something coming from the party of economic responsibility. Why do we repeatedly fall for this con?
Elon Musk did not seem a fan of this bill. Ultimately, he is bitching about it not being more severe in spending cuts. But wasn’t he originally tasked with finding ways to cut federal spending? And didn’t he ultimately fail at that endeavor? Look, I am not a fan of either of these two men (Can we use that word for these things? I am not sure either is 100% human.) But how can you complain about a bill not doing enough to cut spending when you were the person who was supposed to give input about where the government should be cutting spending in the first place? Elon. Shut the fuck up.
And then we have Trump moaning about how much Elon owes him. Sr. Organza is not a math genius nor do I know a lot about finance except I still cannot afford a Birkin, but I do know that I am not sure Elon Musk owes Donald Trump anything. Maybe I’m getting older and my memory is not what it was, but didn’t Elon spend like $100 million trying to get this walking talking bag of wet, stale circus peanut candy elected? I also think he was sending money to people in Wisconsin paying them to vote for Nazis or something? Either way, Elon spent enough money to make King Solomon blush to get a pig in pig’s clothing elected to the White House.
The feud is becoming epic and I am here with my popcorn maker, melted butter and martini just enjoying watching their relationship implode. When you have two men of equal temperament, evil intent and dick size trying to each ruin, I mean run, the country (sorry, autocorrect), you are bound to get this level of crazy. Something that puzzles me though, where are all the Republican women, these conservative asshats, who believed that a woman lacked the temperament for the presidency? Their fearless idiot of man is having a toddler-level tantrum publicly. But let’s not bring up the inadequacy of a woman to run the country. I doubt that Kamala Harris would ever done or said the things that Trump has said in just the last two days let alone over four years of what should have been her first term as president. I’m a woman and I can say without a doubt, while I have been petty, there is a time and a place for that level of childishness. It ain’t here girls.
Elon revealed that Trump is a pedophile. Which, I am sorry to say isn’t remotely shocking. Then Trump talked about Elon’s drug use. Again, are we supposed to be aghast at the revelation that a super wealthy deformed alien billionaire is into drugs? I can walk to the drug store and see super poor perfectly normal looking, non-bloated, unhoused who are as high as kites. Trump has also threatened or at least hinted that Elon might be an illegal immigrant and will be deported. (But he’s also suggested that about any number of people of color who disagree with him. Are we sure he knows what makes a person a citizen?) Elon then retaliates with suggesting Trump be impeached. He also suggested that there should be a political party in this country that represents the other 80%. Oh that made Sr. Organza chuckle. Imagine, a billionaire wanting to make sure the plebes were represented. First, he needs to learn that the “other 80%” is not precisely accurate. While there does exist the top 20%, the rest of this country is made up of the bottom 20%, which already votes against their own interests. Then we have the middle 60% broken further in two by those who have some and those who have just slightly more but think they’re rich. Ultimately, Elon, though I fully support immigration and the great value immigrants bring to our country, I again respectfully ask that you shut the fuck up. If anyone is going to bring to the middle a political party that will represent our interests, it shouldn’t be a shit-stirring animated potato from the deepest of racist South Africa.
After all of this, aside from completely distracting the country from something really important, like the return of Gretchen Rossi to the Real Housewives of Orange County franchise or the Diddy trial, we are no further along as a country. We still have these two embarrassingly hideous babies with manboobs arguing over which of the poor and middle class should be fleeced first. We also now know, beyond any doubt, that a Trump voter is a person with either no brain, no free will, or no morals. They elected, partly on the advice and mostly with the financial banking of a morally bankrupt insidious Willy Wonka, a man who is now likely a pedophile and a previously known predator of young women.
So at the end of the day, I think we should all grab our version of a fiddle and watch Rome burn. I’m opting for a B-52…the drink, not the bomber darlings. Cheers!
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