Our Team
The Abbot
CEO – theabbot@athomeabbey.com
The mysterious, lurking figure in the halls of the Abbey who tells everyone what to do in hushed tones. He attended Our Lady of the Evening Seminary. Since he is always cloaked, and hooded he’s easiest to buy for at the office Secret Santa.
Sr. Organza Pettingfield
Editor-in-Chief
The sassy sister pledged herself to a lesser known Order of the Bitchy Queens of West Hollywood when she was 16. Her charity work includes dressing the fashion challenged and collecting lingerie for needy, sexy people.
Staci Adams-Ortiz
Public Relations – info@athomeabbey.com
Staci recently joined our team to replace an AI bot that suggested we sell the Abbey to a casino developer and cut our losses. She went to Brown and she’s vegan. She never knows which to mention first. Staci has two cats. Funny. A vegan who imprisons animals.
Br. Tao Kibble Sunim
Our newest member of the Abbey joining after seeing Drew drop a part of his hot dog during a meat festival is a trained Zen Buddhist monk. He believes in mindfulness especially when going pee pee and eating paper towels- two of his favorite activities.
Drew (that’s it…just Drew)
Sales
Drew was hired by the Abbot for reasons that remain unclear. The staff was told Drew was “as smart as he looked” and “a natural salesman.” He may or may not have attended a community college in Oxnard. When he isn’t in the Abbey gym, Drew is at another gym.
