Frequently Asked Questions
If the Abbey is secular, why is it called “St. Gertrude’s Abbey”?
The Abbot is himself an openly gay Catholic (yes its weird but it is what it is). St. Gertrude is the ultimate and original lonely cat lady. Considering the manner that single, happy women who happen to like cats were vilified, St. Gertrude seemed a perfect proxy for millions of people. She was also associated with gardens and healing during a time of terrible pestilence. That seems apposite now, no?
Okay. So what’s the point? Why should anyone bother with your site?
We’re an online community. Part blog. Part lifestyle site. Think The Goop but with less bullshit. Think Rogan. But not fucking at all. You should bother because we are all collectively going crazy and it’s this or you start murdering random people who slow-walk in front of you or people who act like they have never been to a Starbucks when they’re ordering.
A gay Catholic? Is this make-believe? WTF?
I assure you, no one is fucking with you. The Abbot is gay- super gay in fact and Catholic. St. Gertrude of Nivelles, although a Catholic saint has a story accessible to everyone. While Catholic teaching can be perverted like many in power have done, it can also be elevated to something that transcends religion. That sounds a little too good to be true. Well, so is the Abbot’s dream but that’s why we’re here isn’t it?
Do you do home visits?
If you’re asking if a virtual secular abbey does home visits, no, we don’t. If you’re asking if we’re available in person? Unless you’re Jonathan Bailey (Hi Johnathan) the answer is also no. We’re strictly online…unless otherwise noted. Sr. Organza misses the stage (if you can call a piece of plywood on two milk crates a stage) and is always open to the possibility of personal ministry.
Hey wait! Is this a cult?
Again, we’re not Joe Rogan. There is one agenda here and that is to bring about a change in the soul of the nation one beautiful person at a time. You do not join anything. No one will kick you out if you disagree. There is no attempt to convert others. Despite the name, there is no direct affiliation with a church or religion. No one will force you to wear a funny hat or ugly shoes. You can do that on your own time.
Home-monastic practice? Are you sure this is not a cult?
Home-monastic practice is deeply personal to each person who wants a little sanity back in their life. It is the cultivation of a combination of habits, rituals, devotions, and meditations or prayers. This can include making time to read something you love, watching something that brings you joy, making art, consuming art, and anything else that allows you to cultivate self-compassion.
It says you have a shop. So where’s the merch?
A thousand apologies. Drew, our head of sales, was tasked with getting the goods together. Alas, he’s been at the gym. Eventually, we will be offering both our own lovely bits for you to buy but also links to things we all like.
I still don’t get it. Is this an online community? A support group? Just some dumb bitchy queen’s blog?
Yes.
Your goal seems a little lofty. How do you plan on doing it?
Lofty goals are the only ones really worth reaching towards. Through the encouragement of independent and rational thought and the support and contemplation of beauty in all its forms is the very heart of “home-monastic practice.” That’s how. Diana Vreeland once said, “ There is only one very good life and that’s the life you know you want and you make it yourself.” Fear not – the Abbott is obsessed with her. You will absolutely learn who she is. For now, know that she’s the patron saint of the Met Gala.
Self-compassion?
Whoever said there is no such thing as a stupid question was an idiot. Yes. In other words- give yourself a break.
What if I want to contribute or work for St. Gertrude’s Abbey? Do I take vows? Will I get paid?
We welcome folks of all stripes to contribute, and you can do so by sending us a homing pigeon. The only vow you need to take is this one, “I promise, to the best of my abilities to not be a nitwit or an asshole.” No. You won’t get paid at least not yet. I would say we’re encouraged, but up- this is Drew’s department too.
